not my intent

it's not my intent. i can't be what you expected me to be. i'm at that end of the road and God's convicting me and that part of me has come to a dead end and i need to find the side roads. not the main road, because i'm not like everyone else, and i cannot let myself merge; into it's standards, sin, ungodly ways... God has other plans for me. no you cannot make me take the shortcuts. i want to take this slow and steady. i need to listen, i need to focus, i need God. it's not that i don't care about you, but not only do i need God, but YOU do as well. we cannot rely on each other, it doesn't work that way. i hope you someday understand. i can encourage you closer to God, but i cannot take God's place for his wisdom and disciple-ship he has in store for you. i think we all forget what God wants for us, and focus only on how others hurt us, or how we don't trust others, or how we clutch to the comfortable.i want to clutch onto God, for he is stable. and he IS comfortable. his is my wall of china, and i'm not sure why i put more trust in you instead of him. why? you have and will continue to let me down, make mistakes, but God will never let me down. you need to live again. you need to learn about love through God. you cannot be influenced by this world. you need to encourage. you need to strengthen your faith. you need to rekindle your relationships with your family. God wants you to. he wants you to be happy. when you hurt he hurts. when you cry, he cries. he feels your pain, even when you hide it from other people. he wants you to follow him and trust him completely. he wants you to be patient, kind, diligent, faithful and he wants to give you eternal LIFE. don't you see? it's EASY. Kristin you need to take the road he has set you out for. Kristin you need to realize all the GOOD and HAPPINESS and JOY he has bestoyed in you, in your HEART. Kristin you need to see that you can trust him and that he is YOUR great wall of china. Kristin see all the good he has done for you. Kristin acknowledge him. Kristin give him all the praise. Kristin he is crying with you. he is in pain as you experience trials. Kristin you are not alone. Kristin you can be encouraging. Kristin you can't be someone else. ... Kristin: you need to be you, just trust in him and follow him with your whole heart and trust in him.

& Kristin: He LOVES you

so much. and he wouldn't change one thing about you...

all you have to do,

is take a LEAP OF FAITH. he will not come short.