after having a long conversation with a girl who is too rad to even describe, without me even saying a word completely filled me in on what was really going on in my life, what i need and how i can finally get to it. the truth is. i'm just so THIRSTY. not thirsty in the sense for water, ha, but incredibly thirsty for God. having this conversation the other day put so many things in my life into perspective.
> i've just been so blind to the details, and where God wants to take me that i was living a life simply pleasing others around me.[this is only 1/8 of the whole]
> over used phase > but i'm not like other girls i know what makes me me, i know that i have a wonderful family and super close friends, and yes I may not have the perfect relationship with God, but only He can make me complete in ways that others will probably never experience. I don't want to give reasons, or say that i am better than you. but i know that i am different. i don't follow the latest trend, i create my own. i am not fake, i am straight up real with you. i dont' care about surface level scum, like: hi how are you? good? good?....i care about really and trully knowing you. i'm not the girl to blow you off. i arrive early.
through this i serve you to make you completely happy and i serve God. but the difference is that although i can serve you, some of you only take that part for granted. why is it always about ourselves? why?> its not. it's about humility. we have to humble ourselves to God. i don't fit in with half the girls, and yes that sometimes breaks my heart. but i know that God loves me for who i am, and that i don't need to pretend to be happy by having so many friends. i am Happy that God is my best friend.
so as i bare all this. the other part is my spiritual family. i realize that that is somthing that i completely crave. i need to go and pray now.
Mood: at peace
Music: Jon Foreman, "i am still running"
Goods: good movies, time to unravel, deep breathing, rainy weather, safe drives
1 comment:
I. Love. You.
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